Addendum To a Prelude To a Plelude

If you read my last posting here you might remember the story of an unusual healing I underwent, the apparent result of an experiment in utilizing the potential of energies that I've observed coursing through my arms and into my hands. It was certainly a surprise to me, one that was encouraging yet perplexing.  The little jeffy in me, the skeptical one, was unconvinced.  Alternately, Big Jeff simply echoed the comment from a friend who had read the account - Why not?  I decided there was a need to experiment further, and an opportunity quickly presented itself.

Soon after the period of the mysterious healing I decided the eyeglasses I had been wearing for several years were scratched beyond help and in need of replacement.  I went in to the shop to order a new pair and was informed that the prescription had expired and I was in need of a new examination.  That seemed like an annoying expense, but I acceded and set up an appointment with my ophthalmologist.  Little did I know that I would be in for a surprise.

After all of the usual mini-tortures that come with an eye exam, the doctor informed me that not only did I need a stronger eyeglass prescription, but that he had detected unusually high pressure inside my eyes and had spotted signs of early stage glaucoma.  He explained that glaucoma was the result of this high pressure squeezing on the optical nerve at the back of the eye, and over time this pressure would cause a gradual decrease in peripheral vision, eventually leading to a kind of tunnel vision.  He also explained that if caught early -as it was, hopefully, in my case - it could be treated, and so he referred me to have a more thorough examination at an eye surgery clinic in the area.

As you might imagine this was rather unpleasant news, exasperated by the fact that I am a dedicated VISUAL artist.  As so many come to realize, getting old sucks!!!!  I was unsettled, but the news of possible treatment was at least a bit encouraging.  After mulling things over for a couple of days I decided the best thing to do was to get the whole picture as quickly as possible, so I called the clinic to make an appointment.  They had received my referral and I was on file, but this was a busy clinic and the earliest  time I could get was six weeks out.  So much for quick.  I agreed to the date and time and resigned myself to waiting it out.  

Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, for I realized this was the opportunity to experiment once again with the kundalini energies coursing through me.  I immediately integrated into my almost daily kundalini session a focused meditation, similar to the one I described in my last post concerning the skin blemish.  In each session, once I could feel the energies strongly flowing into my hands, I would raise my arms together, then  lower them until the palms of the hands hovered just over my eyes - right hand over right eye, left over left.  Every time, within seconds, that particular indescribable sensation that some label prana would envelope my eyes.  In my mind I imagined the prana working to return each eye to its natural, healthy state.  Two or three minutes would pass, at which point I would raise my hands high again, then return them to my side.

Did I believe this was going to make a difference?  Big Jeff simply suggested, why not?  On the other hand little jeffy counseled, don't hold your breath.  You might say the totality of me didn't believe this would work, but nonetheless had faith that something good would come of it.  At the least this faith allowed me to cut back on some of the anxiety and go about my day to day business with a degree of equanimity, where eventually it became a back burner issue in my life...until the day before the exam, when little jeffy started to lose it with flashes of anxiety.  Interestingly, Big Jeff held his calm, repeating over and over to the little guy the simple question - why not?  And guess what?  The calming advice worked.  By the day of the exam little jeffy was, if not exactly enthusiastic, at least  mostly stoic about what was to be revealed.

And so I, meaning the totality of me, walked fairly calmly into the clinic.  In fact, looking back on it now, I'm surprised at how calm I was.  This was quite possibly a life changing moment, yet I simply arrived, spoke pleasantly with the attendant at the desk, and submitted to a barrage of bizarre vision tests - modern medicine, as good as it supposedly is, is a madman's technological nightmare.  I had no idea what was being done to me, or for what purpose.  Room after room of crazy machines to stick my head into, barraging my eyes with unspeakably crazy light effects intended to tease out how far I have deviated from normal eye health.  After an hour of this I was led to a quiet room, where I received eye drops to dilate my eyes, being told that after 20 minutes the drops would take effect and a doctor would examine me.

I had brought a book, anticipating possible long waiting times.  It was one I was re-reading at the time, titled "The Time Falling Bodies Take To Light", an irony I only just now see.  It's a fascinating book examining the beginnings of language and culture in very early Homo Sapien life as long as 100,00 years ago.  Surprisingly, I became completely absorbed in the book despite the coming verdict from the doctor.  When he arrived he put me through a detailed examination of my eyes, yet for the first time since I arrived I felt I was being examined by a DOCTOR, not a machine.  He was a nice guy.  The assistant he brought was a nice gal.  They worked smoothly together, and I was comforted in a weird way.

Then the verdict came.  I just listened with no anxiety, no expectation.  Whatever was coming, I was ready for it.  The doctor said, rather simply, that I had no high pressure in my eyes.  I had no signs of glaucoma.  He recommended I come back in a year for another exam, but otherwise I was OK.

You can imagine the shit-eating grin on my face as I heard this verdict, partially disguised from the doctor by the covid mask I was wearing.  As I left, driving home with my temporary sunglasses shielding me from the intense light entering my still-dilated eyes, I considered the possible implications.  Maybe my ophthalmologist had made a mistake, had misdiagnosed my situation.  Or perhaps, just perhaps, prana had done its work.

 Why not?

To be continued...

Confessions of an Explorer, Part 4: Time Is On My Side???

Yet Another Prelude to a Prelude

I've been reporting observed events related to my Kundalini experience with the intention of getting them on record.  I'm not necessarily certain how to interpret them - what does one make of electric toe wiggles, dancing lights, arm to hand rushes of energy?  Not for me to say at this point -  just the facts, ma'am.  Here's the latest:

As the arm to hand energy sensations continued to increase I thought to conduct an experiment.  Many who speak of Kundalini conceptualize the energies as Prana, a life force that normally supports our biological machine at a low level we hardly notice, yet has the potential to greatly increase when activated.  Given my experience this seems a sensible possibility to me, and so I began to wonder if the discharge of energies into my hands could be utilized in some way.  We all have probably heard of individuals who claim to use energies of some sort to heal - laying on of hands, so to speak.  Could this energy radiating into my hands be some version of that?  If so, how would I test it?

I have very light skin, and  noticed a dark growth appear just above my left clavicle perhaps 5 years ago or longer.  Very small at first, hardly a concern, yet over time it has slowly increased in size to the point that recently I've considered having it looked at by a dermatologist and possibly removed.  Instead, I decided that this would be the object of an experiment involving the strange energy sensations rushing into my hands.

Let me first describe my current Kundalini practice.  Almost daily at some point in my activities I stop the normal flow of events and lie down on my back to do a 20 minute Pilates session aimed at loosening my upper back,  neck and shoulder joints.  Quite effective, by the way.  After finishing, still flat on my back, I start a mini-ritual, taking a deep breath as I spread my legs to shoulder width, then another deep breath as I spread my arms a bit from my hips, turning palms up.  One more deep breath and I close my eyes.  At that point I mentally fall into my body, and within minutes, sometimes seconds, the Kundalini/Prana energies begin to make themselves evident.  Often beginning at the perineum, sometimes in the heart region, the energies typically slowly build until they run down my arms and into my hands, creating an exquisite sensation in my fingers that causes them to flex and wiggle.  Here's where,  recently, I began my experiment.

Using the notion of Prana as a life force underlying our biological selves, I began conceptualizing the energies in my hands as having the potential to return damaged organs or cells to their normal, healthy state.  With this in mind I started to proceed with the experiment, the process as follows.  I extend my arms fully upward, and as I do so the sensations increase, surging to my fingers.  Then I lower my arms, hands going to my left neck area.  With my left hand I pull back the collar of my shirt and hover the open palm of my right hand over the skin blemish.  I hold this position for perhaps a minute, sometimes longer, literally feeling energy flowing into my palm.  When my arms begin to tire I end the experiment, raising hands first to the sky, then lowering into my normal Kundalini session position.

Did I believe anything would come of this?  The little jeffy in me was entirely skeptical, but willing to go along for the ride - after all, what was the harm?  Big Jeff just observed with arms folded over his sternum.  He had seen enough of the unusual to know better than to form an opinion; he is by nature very, very patient.  The Unborn was kicking in the womb.

I performed this experiment almost daily, but after ending the session tended to quickly forget about it as I immersed myself in day to day life.  After my usual morning shower I would occasionally glance at my shoulder, though most of the time it would not occur to me to check if there was any progress.  Then one morning, after three or four weeks of experimentation, I consciously took a look in the mirror and thought I detected a small change in the blemish, though I didn't have my glasses on and couldn't be sure due to a little fuzziness.  The next morning while in the shower I felt a little itchiness in the area and when I scratched it a piece of skin sloughed off.  I jumped out of the shower, putting my glasses on and wiping steam off the mirror.  I looked and...behold!  The very dark patch of skin was gone, and all that was left was a pale remnant of the shape!

What to make of this?  If you're going to insist on coincidence I can't argue with you, except to remind you that this patch of dark skin had been with me for many years, slowly growing over time, showing no signs of going away.  It had become a familiar, if slightly unnerving, presence in my body.  And now it's gone.

Just the facts, ma'am.

To be continued...